Sometimes this recovery is its own special hell, not because it is overly difficult physically, but it can just play with your mind. Lat night I a terrible moment when my legs all cramped up and my calves didn’t seem to work. At one point I plodded about the house trying to pull it all together. What caused it? Shit if I know.
But it brought back a flood of memories and feelings about when chemo made my legs did not work. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t the same thing. For a few minutes though, I was back in the middle of that frikkin moment about 18 months ago when the neuropathy and neurotoxicity were their worst.
I just started to cry.
I took a hot bath and it all went away. It was probably that I took the dogs on a walk wearing loafers, or the insane workout I did the day before gong up and down stairs, or my shitty diet. Still it shared the bejeezus out of me.
Well something funny tomorrow.