Monday, 30 April 2012

Good morning my brothers

Well. It’s funny. Once I’ve decided to post more frequently I don’t have too much to say. Darn it. My diet still sucks, but I promised myself I’d work on it. My weight has stabilized at 240.

Kate and I went to a Blue Rocks Baseball game yesterday and in the middle of the fifth inning or so it occurred to me that it had been a year to the day that I had discharged from my first stay at the hospital and that I had heard the words lymphoma and cancer.

Yikes! It’s weird; I don’t want to be one of those guys who obsess over this kind of thing because it can become paralyzing, but it just kind of sticks with you – oh well.

It’s 0547 right now and I’m waiting ‘till about 0600 before I go to the garage and workout. I’m hoping moving my workout times around will help with the fatigue at work and give me more time to hang out with Kate in the evenings.

My hip is killing me from sitting all twisted up at the ball game yesterday. I suspect the ravages of older age.

I’m having a big internal debate about my hair. I look okay with longer hair, but it’s just not me. I’ve been wearing it longer because of my gigantic scar on my head, but  don’t think I give a shit about it anymore. Considerations! Considerations!

I guess that’s it’s about 0553 and the morning is that early grey that seems to wake the birds. I guess I’ll give my four monsters their early morning meds and some toast then hit the weights, shower and go to work.

Since recover is also about work I’ll chat about that tomorrow. I hesitate to discuss that subject because everyone has been so supportive, but I promised to be honest in case someone else can use theses stories later.

sunday 29 april quiet

Slow day today. Just taking it easy. Now that the weather is starting to be a tad warmer I’ve begun working out in the mornings before work. I’ll have to see how that goes. More later. Freakin ticks are everywhere -- don't want tot tangle with them -- Yikes

exercise fatigue and felicity

Hey posse:

Things are getting better, but fatigue is still an issue.  Went home early from work yesterday; I was exhausted. Bone weary seems like a good phrase. Bone marrow weary more like it (heh, heh, heh – cancer humor just kills me. There’s another one. Oh God!! Heh, heh, heh)

Everything I read says the only thing for fatigue is activity and naps no longer than an hour. I also need to get my most important work of the day done in the mornings, so if I do run out of gas I don’t have a big hill to climb in the afternoon. Easy to say, but can be hard to do.

We all know how important I am – I heard the Delaware Department of Labor actually shut down while I was out sick.

My remaining hair is way too long, but I have this thin landing strip of hair down the middle of my head, surrounded by two giant patches of baldness. So I look like one of those pathetic middle-aged guys trying to hang on to youth. I’ll be middle aged someday.  Anyway I kind of dig my remaining curly locks, and don’t want to cut them, but I miss my very short hair I wore for so many years. Decision! Decisions! I don’t want to end up like Keri Russell and only be famous for a bad haircut choice.

Love to all,

Bill

Thursday April 26, 2012 part deux

Thursday April 26, 2012.

I almost forgot. I guess I didn’t forget so much as ignore. I said I would be honest with you. I am having a lot of trouble getting motivated in the mornings. I just don’t enjoy working anywhere near like I used to. Once upon a time I identified who I am with my employment, but not now. It all seems way less important. I mean the work is still important – I guess. I mean somebody has to do it, but I am not so sure it should be me.

The woods are lovely dark and deep

But I have promises to keep.

Always a lot to think about.

Also I am still dog-tired in the evenings when I come home. My coping technique is a nap, a workout, and dinner. Then I veg out for two hours in front of the TV and by 9, I am ready for bed.

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.

See ya, maybe I can be more honest tomorrow

Bill

Not a whole lot to report. Feeling pretty good. My workouts continue to make steady progress.

I have decided to keep my strength training to every third day instead of every other day. I think the extra day will help my body heal especially when one considers my age (54) and platelet situation 88,000. On the off days I plan to walk at lunch and ride my bike, or skip rope in the in the evenings -- More of an aerobic thing.

I guess that’s it.

Bill

Thursday April 26, 2012.

Thursday April 26, 2012.

Not a whole lot to report. Feeling pretty good. My workouts continue to make steady progress.

I have decided to keep my strength training to every third day instead of every other day. I think the extra day will help my body heal especially when one considers my age (54) and platelet situation 88,000. On the off days I plan to walk at lunch and ride my bike, or skip rope in the in the evenings -- More of an aerobic thing.

I guess that’s it.

Bill

McDonald Pass between Helena
and Deer Lodge

Picolo Players beware

Now it’s official I am strong enough to beat up a marching band piccolo player, but I dare not take on a tuba player. And we all know how coordinated a cello player in a marching band has to be; I dare not try taking on one of those either.

 

Yesterday I benched 185 and could have done more, but I couldn’t find a tuba player to spot me and I’m not going to ask an adult to help with weak performance like that – I almost died from cancer, I don’t want to die from embarrassment instead.

 

Things are looking up physically. I have been riding my bike for up to 45 minutes and have begun jumping rope. I can skip rope a paltry 20 times now.

 

One year and about 35 to go

Dear Chemo 13 Buddies:

Feeling pretty good today. Had a good night’s sleep last night.

Tomorrow is the 1^st anniversary of them taking pieces out of me (bowel resection). Kate and I are going to celebrate by doing a little bowling in the afternoon and maybe some minor league baseball in the evening. It should be a blast. I didn’t get to go to a single game last year because of the cancer and a compromised immune system. We are psyched!!

Anyway I won’t write again ‘till Monday.

Peace to all,

Bill

Work I guess means work

Good Morning my Chemo 13 Gang:

Did you know going to work stuff is kind of sucky? Employers expect you to be at work and AWAKE for the entire workday? It’s medieval I tell you. And they expect you to produce things too. Next there will be schedules and performance measures; I’m beginning to get the shakes just thinking about it all.

I’m not sure how this all fits in with my napping, fishing, reading, and exercising. On the good side they give you money; that’s always nice. I do like money.

My first week at work has been very exhausting. I’ve been so tired when I come home, I just plop in my chair, let the TV’s blue tint bombard me, and wait to go to bed. I’ve walked at lunchtime with my great boss (in case she reads this) for about an hour every day, but I’ve only gotten to pump iron once this week. All the reading I’ve done about cancer recovery and all the research my wife the medical librarian has uncovered says the best respite from fatigue is apple pie – okay it’s actually exercise.

I’m not sure this level of fatigue is normal, but a fella has to return to a full life at some point and now seems as good a time as any. Like everything else I’ll just have to work through it all.

BTW a stupid note – For the longest time I thought LOL meant lots of love, I have recently found out it means laugh out loud. Many of my emails more sense now.

Guess that’s it for now!

Bill

10 April 2012

Good morning!
First day of full time work went okay, especially since I left at 2 p.m. to get ready for a neuropathy seminar that was cancelled at the last minute. Oh well.

My stamina seems to be okay, but requirements at work are beginning to pick up steam so we'll see. It's very hard to gauge all this since I'm not sure how I feel. There has to be more to life than this though. A lot to think about.

Kate and I are going to take a road trip to Nashville in June to see country crooner Guy Clark. It should be a blast.

See you all later,

Bill

Happy Easter

Well,  not a whole heck of a lot to tell you about today.

I had been somewhat squeamish about working on my stomach muscles. I believe the new fanged term is core. Anyway I was worried about it because of the scar from the resection, but I have to do it sooner or later and well now seems as good a time as any,

So I hooked one of those surgical tubing exercise band things to the ceiling of my garage, put a pillow on the floor right beneath it,  kneeled on the floor, grasped the tubing. and did kneeling crunches. I didn't have a lot of stamina, but I was able to gut out three sets of ten.

I've decided to delude myself into thinking that my recent weight gain is partially lean muscle mass and not just fat.

I guess that's it.

See ya all,

Bill

Holy Saturday and Muscle Pain

Good Morning everyone:

Happy Holy Saturday. Although not much happens, liturgically speaking, today it is nonetheless Holy Saturday. 

Well I know this blog is way more boring than the actual cancer blog because there is no life and death drama, but I guess I’ll just keep whacking away at it and use it for the second installment of my book series – which um er I um have yet to finish.

This was a very interesting week. Lot’s of muscle soreness in my legs; not from chemo-induced neuropathy, but from doing dumbbell squats. I have this theory that if I have to have neuropathy, I might as well attack it somehow and thanks to my advanced degree from an almost accredited medical school, I’ve theorized exercise is the best way to mitigate the neuropathy symptoms – not to mention the cellulite.

So I started doing light squats while hold some very light dumbbells of about 20 pounds each. And I know it’s gonna hurt later because I can actually feel my 54 year old legs screaming, “What are you really this stupid?!” It turns out I am. I ended up walking about the next day waddling like an old penguin; if I could have flopped on belly and motored about like a penguin I would have. Anyway, the next day I figure the best way to attack the muscle pain, which is supposed to attack the neuropathy, which is supposed to make my life more pain free, is to ride my bike and get the blood flowing in my legs. That didn’t work nearly as well as one would think. I was in even more pain the next day from my 45-minute bike jaunt. Well quoting that great American philosopher Forest Gump, “Stupid is as stupid does,” I finally feel much better, so I bought a jump rope. 

I am officially blaming prednisone for my recent robust weight gain, but to be honest it was more likely my ravenous appetite for pastry that did me in. So anyway, that’s about it for today.

I go back to work full-time Monday – a bit apprehensive about it all. I hope I have the stamina; I think I do, but we’ll see. Next week also marks the one-year anniversary of my initial operation and cancer diagnosis. I’m a bit freaked out by that too. I’ll write more later about that.

God Bless,

See ya

Bill

workout change 1 April

Good morning everyone:

Well I am fast approaching a decision point in my workout regimen. I return to work full Monday 9 April the day after we celebrate Easter. There was a whole rant concerning resurrections I took out of this note, because I didn’t want to upset the supernatural being(s) that keep the universe aligned – So don’t even think about making any resurrection jokes, or humorous analogies, but if you do send them to me and I’ll post them, laugh, and pray for your soul.

Since my schedule will be significantly altered due to the inconvenience of providing for the usurers, veterinarians, and few legitimate services I have bought, I need to realign my workout schedule. Since the frikkin dogs have seen fit to let me know daily when 0500 occurs, I am toying with the idea of starting my workouts right after I genuflect to them and pay their morning kibble tariff (it’s actually protection money reminiscent of 1970’s mafia shakedowns – remember the pictures.  Or maybe it’s a form of tithing).

When I was a soldier I used to start my days off with physical training and now that it’s getting a bit warmer it might be pretty fun to meet the sun rise while doing 1,000 lbs bicep curls (that’s what I am up to now).

I bought this Men’s Health workout book yesterday and it was published in England; all the weights were in kilos and distances were in meters. The advice probably won’t work in the colonies – Darn $14 down the drain. Not only that, who wants to look like a pasty Englishman. -- Daniel Craig only looked good after he moved to Hollywood and Sean Connery is Scottish.  Geez!

Anyway, there you have it. I need to workout, but evening is too busy with Jeopardy, Extra, and, the E Network.  Lunch is out because it’s time to eat. It seems like morning may be the only time I’ll have to improve my explosive muscularity (remember it’s only funny because I am as strong as most mathletes).

Love to all,

Bill