Friday, May 31, 2013

bathroom repair


Not a whole lot to report today. I have the day off and I am going to finish my bathroom that is in pieces on the floor of my house. 

I’m going to start writing a weekly column for the Burkitt’s Lymphoma web page. Odd that a disease has it’s own web page … Oh I’m being told it’s for survivors. Well that changes my ideas a bit. Talk to you guys later. 

Thursday, May 30, 2013

weaker than I was



Here we go. Losing muscle strength is so easy these days. I would like to think it’s because of cancer, low platelets, the moon in the wrong spot, or sun flares, but I’m pretty sure its age. I went for a trudge yesterday with my IPod cranking some running tunes. You know stuff so I could keep a good pace (should’ve been dirges). Here was plan – at the end of every song I’d drop for ten pushups. Well at the end of the first tune I dropped, did my ten, got up, and ran again. I remember thinking that “that was unexpectedly difficult.”

Well as each song ended I was doing more dropping and less pushing. After about a half hour of this I was pretty beat and barely completed a two and a half mile route.

This is from a guy who spent most of the winter walking up and down flights of stairs and doing pushups at the landings. Jeez?

That’s it for today. Walking today and then attack my disassembled bathroom.

Love to all,

Billy Boy

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

A morning sketch


It was beautiful morning as Bill sat in his backyard with an orange cup filled to the brim with black Gevalia Columbian coffee. The java was strong and the aroma filled the backyard seemingly jazzing the birds who’ve begun using the back yard as the main thoroughfare for all things birds on Stafford Avenue.  The Black Capped Chickadees flitted, spun, and dove from branch to branch; each one alive with an indiscernible mission that took across the expanse of six giant pine trees lining Bill’s back yard fence. The Robins, Cardinals, Siskins and Hummingbirds were there too; each with its own business to complete. Far above, at the highest point, where the trees touch the sky, a nest of hawks watched the play and quietly gave their approval, by not interfering.
It was a wonderful morning

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

diarrhea and sh#t


Well I took a week off from recover blogging, but recovery problems didn’t take a week off from me. I was sooooo sick last week I was – once again – convinced my cancer was back. I’m getting tired of this.
Anyway, Wednesday night I started projectile vomiting and diarrhea and it was so reminiscent of the period before I got sick that, well, it made me sick. I didn’t get any sleep Wednesday night and eventually went to the doc. He said there was some kind of stomach thing going around and took some blood for tests. The tests came back and he said there is no indication of a recurrence of my lymphoma, but my platelets were low as was my LDL. The LDL is a bit hmmmmm producing and the platelets are no big surprise.
He said we will treat it like a gastro-inter—something or other and go from there. I don’t know. This is really getting old. I think I may run by my colon guy and check and see what’s “normal” two years post surgery and we’ll go from there. As I’ve said a million times before, this whole intestine thing has never quite healed correctly.
We’ll see.
I guess that’s it for today.
My vacation pretty much sucked.@t 

Monday, May 20, 2013

I ain’t working this week


Good morning fellow Burkittians:

Well I’m chilling today. I ain’t working at work. I took the week off. I’m gonna fish and not catch anything, attempt to remodel the bathroom and end up calling a contractor, go golfing and score way too high, and run like molasses for a workout. It’s gonna be glorious. After this post I’m drink too much coffee (if I haven’t already) and watch Morning Joe on MSNBC and shout liberal slogans at the TV.  After that it will be time for second sleep – second sleep is a morning nap, but it is second sleep because not enough time has gone by for it to be a real nap (that comes at 1 p.m.) I’ll update you guys on my lack of progress throughout the week. 

Friday, May 17, 2013

just in

http://www.newarkpostonline.com/news/article_768b3b22-bdfe-11e2-9e03-0019bb2963f4.html


tired, but no big deal


Well I am on the verge of a week off. I need it; I’m beat.

Yesterday was our big employer conference and thank God that’s over. I keep reminding myself, “There is no limit to what a man can accomplish as long as he doesn’t care who gets the credit.”
That is my new mantra. There is no limit, there is no limit, there is no limit …
Crazy huh?
I have my fist big LLS board/committee meeting next week. It should be an opportunity to work with some good people for an important cause. I have skills that  can help.
I guess this is more of me, talking to me thing right now, than me talking to you. Oh well …
Nex week I’m going to putter around the house, play gold once, fish once, and sleep a lot. Shoot I need it. I’ll probably work on my novel.
You know, I was thinking, I need to re-title my book. I was in such a rush to get it done and available that I let it through without seriously getting the title right. I was more concerned about making sure it would come up in key word searches that I sacrificed what I really wanted to say.
It should be “Bill’s Stupid Cancer Book: From Lymphoma to Survivor.” That would have been way better. Poop!
I guess that’s it for today.

Bill


Thursday, May 16, 2013

Angela Vicario


I am sad to report that God called home another angel yesterday. Angela Vicario, a very nice, pretty, funny, and intelligent lady, was killed by cancer. She fought long and hard sounds incredible cliché, but in her case it was true. There just wasn’t anything she could do to stop it; as soon s cancer got the upper hand it pressed the attack and never relented. Angela was one of my students at a local college. A very nice, pretty, funny and intelligent lady seems a fine epitaph for anyone I guess. I hope they speak as kindly about me when I leave. Darn, I guess Bill Joel was right, Only The Good Die Young. She had just turned 50. 

She is the fourth person who started this cancer journey with me that didn’t make it. 

No man is an island ... 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

book reviews

The reviews are in. Cancer cells hate William J. Potter’s book. The Long Walk: From Lymphoma To Survivor.

“This book makes me as sick as we made Bill,” said Larry Lymphoma. “I hope people stay away from e-book retailers in droves.”

“After reading this tripe, I wish we had killed him,” Neutro Penia said. “Cancer is nothing to laugh about and this book makes far too many jokes at the expense of mutated cells; it’s in poor taste.”

squidgy stomach


Not a whole heck of a lot to report today recovery-wise. I’m feeling a bit better and had a good bike ride yesterday. I’m riding my bike until I nurse this hamstring back to health. It’s amazing really that my bicycle supports my rather large buttocks, but it does.

I think I look pretty good in my gym shorts, helmet and sneakers, but I bet I really look like the old guy I see around town riding his bike. I’ve seen a lot of heavy people lately riding bikes and it makes me suspicious about whether this contraptions can help you lose weight. I found this really cool calorie burn calculator, but wouldn’t you know it the URL won’t open this morning. Here it is. It just opened http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/cbc -- it’s pretty cool.

I’ve felt a bit nauseous lately. Nothing like before, but still nauseous – no vomiting, just a squidgy stomach. Everybody gets a squidgy stomach from time-to-time so it’s probably no big deal. I have these flashbacks about the last time, but my plan is to wait and see. If it goes away – great, if not I’ll see a doc. I hate going to the doc. I think I what I really hate is trying to make an appointment – that’s the stinky part.

I guess that’s it.

Peace,

Monday, May 13, 2013

Strong Language Alert! Chemo Induced Peripheral Neuropathy




Chemo Induced Peripheral Neuropathy – Ah, an old friend that has not been away long enough. MY time without you passed much too quickly until you made and unexpected return to remind me just how far I’ve come and have yet to go. I didn’t miss you at all – fucker!

Weekend fucker!

There I said it. F-bombs! I’m F-bomb happy today – or actually F-bomb unhappy today. What an f-bombed up weekend this was. It started strange, got depressing, and turned out debilitating.

It kind of started on Wednesday, although weekends don’t normally start on Wednesday. I was running like the wind up Kirkwood Highway in Newark, like the wind on a breezeless day. Yeah that’s about right. Anyway I was going for a new super world record and I got this twinge in the back of my leg. Being without any sense I continued to run and this twinge turned into real pain after another minute or two and I ended up hobbling back home. It felt like I had pulled a hamstring, but not really. Anyway I’ve kept off it so far and will give it a walk at lunchtime today. I figured it was just one of those nicks 56-year-old poorly conditioned runners get.

I had the usual maladies I get until Friday when I went to the Relay for Life at Newark High School in Newark, Delaware. Kate and I signed up for the survivor walk at 1900 and a reception at 1730. Earlier in the day I sent a press release to a gagillion people and got a nibble from the Newark Post and Cecil Whig. I did the interview, but the reported wanted to come by at about 1700 to chat and take some pictures.

He got to my house at about 1720 and we chatted in the backyard, because if I let him in the house the headline probably would have said, “Grown Man Overrun With Dogs, Teddy Bears, and Recycling Bags.” Yikes!

It all went pretty well except for Buzz trying to eat his pant leg – several times. What are you gonna do? If the story doesn’t come out good I’ll throw Buzz in the office and hold the door closed. BTW the story is about the incredible book The Long Walk: From Lymphoma to Survivor by celebrated master of sarcasm William J. Potter.

We got to thing a little late, but there was plenty of food there for the royal survivors. It’s like getting VIP treatment and a T-shirt and all you had to do was not die. Kate and I bought one of those luminaria things – you know a white paper bag, with some type of ode on it for one of the cancer fallen, a candles in the bag, weighted down by sand. We bought one in honor of Melissa Torres.

Well, the survivor lap of this thing was set to begin at 1900 and they call all the survivors up to the starting line and proceed to talk and talk, and talk. I understand there are props to render, but don’t call a bunch of neuropathy, waddling cancer survivors up to the starting line and then don’t start anything. Well after and extended introduction of people who nobody knew except for the inner circle of Relay for Life folks we were off. The survivors made their way around the track led by the New Castle County Paramedic, who by the way were superb as Color Guards.

As we wound around the quarter mile people shouted and chaired for us. I was happily taken aback by the number of young people who had dedicated their time to watch a bunch of cancer folks stagger like “Walking Dead” extras around the track. It was cool. They were sincere, joyful, and a pleasure. BTW, I hate young people by-and-large. They’re just so … young.

Kate and I went around a couple of times got our applause for not dying and went home. I was achy all over. I went to bed kind of early after taking a muscle relaxant and Saturday was uneventful. I didn’t do much, but read and go grocery shopping.

Sunday started out weird. I checked my Facebook page and learned another friend of mine is near the end of her cancer journey and will soon die. That makes quite a few people I started with that have ended their journey before. Almost all of them younger.

Kate and I went to Lowe’s and that’s where it happened.

I was pushing my cart and my legs got tingly, and then numb. F-bombing neuropathy. It hurts, numbs, and tortures all at the same time. There is no cure, but waiting it out and letting run its course. The only thing that helps is a foot massage from Kate. I bought my two pieces of wood, went home and sucked my thumb for the rest of the day. By about 1830 it cleared up and everything was working again. It figures, just in time for work.

I guess that’s it for today. More tomorrow.

Peace BIll

Thursday, May 9, 2013

LLS volnteerng


Good morning all:

Well I’m in a good place today (but I have to leave it go to work). Heh, har, har, har.  I kill me

My hard-boiled eggs are boiling and I got up a bit later than usual, so I’m a bit behind the power curve. Regardless I have quite a bit to report.

I met yesterday with the local Leukemia and Lymphoma Society lady; we had lunch at Panera. We chatted for a while and I’m gonna do some volunteer work with them and help them with some planning and mentoring new cancer patients. I hope it helps them and me. Anyway, my first big shindig is May 22nd at 1800.  I guess it’s a board meeting.

That’s it for today.

See ya,

Bill

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

your highness -- please bow


Ever bitch about something and have it blow up in your face?

Well the past week or so I have been in a running self delusional ego battle and staked out this territory that I am the all knowing, all seeing, king of press releases and no one could possibly improve on the holy writ flowing from my fingertips. Yes every word I typed was to be cherished and reread with bowed head and reverential quietude.

Well after staking out this high ground, you know what I did? I put together a masterful press release referring to the Affordable Care Ac … not the Act, but the Ac.

Crow tastes good.  

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Cupcake caper


Running a  tad behind this morning so this’ll have to be quick – ah hell with it – I can be a little late.

Yesterday I’m up in my office early for a change and this email pops up and it says, “I have cupcakes to celebrate your recovery.” I figure it must be spam, but who would be so evil to entice someone with fake cupcakes? No one I says to myself.

I hotfoot it down the stairs to the Unemployment Insurance office where hey think great thoughts and calculate things I guess, while all the time file things in long rows of folder that would make doctors offices envious. There are secret that would make Indiana Jones blush stored in one of those rooms.

Anyway I get there and this wonderful woman with short blonde hair is there with a plate of multi-colored cupcakes spelling out chemo – 13. I’m not sure if it was beauty of the gesture or the wonder of the cupcakes., but I snatched on (or was two) and ran upstairs to my office and cried a bit. I’m such a schlep.

I actually went back for seconds.

Love to all,

Bill

Monday, May 6, 2013

A new week of opportunities


Good morning homeys:

Another big week is upon us and as always there is lots of whining ahead, but I’m gonna hold off a bit for that although my upset stomach yesterday was epic.

I am an old hippy. Saturday I volunteered at the Corbit-Calloway Library in Odessa for its annual yard sale and fundraiser. I sold hot dogs, pop, pretzels, and other foods. I wandered the tables and came across a treasure trove of old vinyl records and bought a couple of Tull albums, Frank Zappa (may he rest in peace), Traffic, and drum roll please … a perfect copy of Rolling Stones, Hot Rocks—that’s the hippie part.

I have a big week – like I said. I have to put the finishing touches on a bunch of stuff before our Department’s Employer Conference Next week. It should be pretty good.

Wednesday afternoon I am having lunch with the Leukemia and Lymphoma society folks to help them with my unusual skill set (what ever the hell that is). Tuesday I get to go to another meeting where they’ll have food. A small slice of heaven. As always I have schedule conflicts so I’ll do what I have to. Friday night I go to the American Cancer Society Relay for life and do the special survivors lap and wave at my adoring fans.

I wonder if it is too tacky to make up some book flyers and pass them out while I’m there. Hmmm.

Well gotta go

Bill

Friday, May 3, 2013

sugar coating


Not too much time today. I’m on the run, but I wanted to capture another anecdote for our Bill’s Stupid Quips Library.

So there I was the morning sun streaming through the window of the picturesque view of the industrial roof of Christiana Care. I was a chemo rookie asking lots of questions. Not quite sure what was what. In a sense I was shopping for answers I wanted and not necessarily over concerned with the truth.

In walked this nurse. Young and physically stunning in her own unkempt kind of way. She was one of those girls who didn’t really know she was beautiful, or if she did, thought it more as a hindrance, than a blessing.

So there I am. I forget what malady I was complaining about – there was no shortage. I remember she listened patiently and said, “Well I’m not gonna sugar coat this for you.

I said, “Can you go find someone who will.” 

Thursday, May 2, 2013

possessed dog


Pets can be steadfast friends, cuddly smoogies, or death wielding body bodyguards. We are allowed to live with a 12-pound Yorkshire Terrier at the home we pay a monthly mortgage on for her convenience and with her approval.

She has earned her keep to some extent by saving us, more than once, from stupid household accidents. If something isn’t right she’ll stand in front of it and barks ‘till we take notice. Like the time we left a pot on the stove and Coco (Satan’s name in Yorkie embodiment), threw a fit at the stove. Or like when she attacks the vacuum cleaner because we shouldn’t be using it anyway.

When I was sick she somehow knew instinctively there was something wrong and I needed extra attention. Perhaps it is some deep maternal thing, or maybe it was all the tubes coming out of my chest, or the daily injections that tipped her off.

Anyway Coco set up house next to me in the bed. Guarding me from the other dogs and surprisingly from my wife Kate. Coco chased the dogs away or would try to lure them outside away from me. It’s all quite complicated, but it had to do with her pretending there was something in the backyard, barking at it and when the two other dogs ran out in the backyard she’d tear into the bedroom with breakneck speed and dive under the blankets achieving the primary snuggling position.

One day she was particularly possessive (and apparently possessed) and she did this dance and with the dogs and dove under the sheets. Kate walks into the room to say goodbye for work or something and the dog flew out of from the sheets and launched herself, teeth bared, presumably at the neck of my wife. It was crazy.

I was on the far side of queen-size bed and the dog jumped from there, going up, and up and up across the bed and headed for Kate, never beginning the downward arc of her lunge. For a few second Coco defied gravity. She didn’t seemingly defy gravity – she did!

Kate always fleet of hands, snatched the dog out its upward flight, flipped it over and slammed it on the bed on its back. Then the dog started snarling and growling and hissing so crazily that Regan MacNeil from the Exorcist would’ve applauded.

The possessed dog finally escaped and dove under the sheets, clung to me and growled.

It was crazy. 

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

toenail end

Getting a late start today guys and sneaking this note in before I do any work. Okay the end of yesterday’s story – After my oncologist said, “You need to see a doctor” (see yesterday’s post), I went home got some Epsom salts, a toenail clipper and a walnut pick. You know – that thing everyone pulls out of the closet on holidays and says, “What the hell is this?” that comes with the nutcracker.

So I soaked my foot for a while in steam Epsom salt water, pulled it out and contorted myself in such a grotesques shape a Swami along the Ganges would have been envious – that is of course if Hindu Swamis knew envy, but that’s another topic for another day.

So there I am, contorted with a softened up toenail waiting to be clipped. I take the walnut pick (a known surgically clean item I pulled out of the dusty closet), jam it under the quick of my toenail, and pry the small lethal dagger of toenail out into the open. Although there is little blood, there are a lot of tears from the jamming, prying, and contorting. Finally I get the pick into a position where I can hold it with one hand and clip with the other.

Sweet relief. Oh my, my, my.

Don’t tell Kate; she used the Walnut pick last thanksgiving.