Monday, August 27, 2012

workout news (language warning)

Hey guys:

Well a little old lady with gray hair worn in a bun kicked my ass. I must outweigh her by  80 lbs, and more than a foot taller, and I bet I can bench press three of her. All she needed to equalize things was a little red nine inch ball you can buy at the grocery store.
Did she tie me up and pummel me like I was in a middle-school dodge ball hell? No it was even more sinister.
She clothed the whole torture in an exercise program -- Pilates (or some kind of sadistic derivative). I think it is on the CIA list of banned interrogation techniques -- somewhere between water boarding and cigarette burns. It was hideous I tell you.

I had no idea a little red ball could result in so much pain. I’ve been summoned to her hideout on Wednesday. I’m thinking about giving up my ATM pin for mercy.

That’s it for now


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