1 year chemo end appointment

Hey Guys:

Well today is a big day. I have a big oncology (or is it hematology) appointment today at 1000. They always freak me out. In fact as I’m writing this I feel like crying. I can’t explain why, I just do. Probably some kind of post-stress thing, I guess.

Anyway I’ll go in at about 0930, get my blood drawn and at about 1030 I’ll go to the examining room and cool my heels for a while until the nurse practitioner comes in, feels me up, leaves. Then the doctor will come in he’ll give me the same exact examination and we’ll chat.

This is where it gets dicey. I have walked into the office feeling fine and ended up in the hospital. Other days I’ve walked in feeling poorly and was sent home. So who knows?

I’m sure I’ll be okay. I feel pretty good although my skin seems awfully delicate and I suspect that’s from low platelets. I suspect my platelets will be fewer than 70,000 (normal is about 150,000 or better). As long as they stay above 50,000 I’m okay and can still do the thing I love.

Anyway, I’ve been working hard since January to recover. I benched press 205 last week (up from zero last October), I do Pilates, I ran 3 miles without stopping the other day, and I walk for 45 minutes most lunch times. So that’s all good right?

So why do these follow up appointments freak me out so much. I get so crazy on these days I take the whole day off just to unwind from it. Geez. I guess that’s a small price to pay.

That’s it I guess.